Coaching a client on what's blocking follow-through
This is for you if the agreed action didn't happen again. You feel the pull to nag, and the quiet fear you're failing this client. You want to move without adding pressure, without reading the miss as a verdict on either of you.
A missed action is rarely proof the client doesn't want it. Follow-through fails on weak structure more often than weak will, so the miss is a structure to fix, not a character to judge. When the doubt tells you you're failing this client, it has the roles backwards: you own the structure, the client owns the insight.
Before resizing anything, make one call out loud with the client. Is something pulling against this goal, or has it just sat untouched? Ask plainly: if part of them didn't want this, what might that part be protecting?
Sometimes a hidden payoff surfaces: a loyalty the goal would strain, a fear it stirs. You can only hear that from the client; no report shows it. If it's there, this isn't plain avoidance, and shrinking the ask won't touch it. Surface that pull first (the competing-commitment map, C8).
More often, nothing pulls back. The client wants it; the step just never happened. Open their Career Discovery report to Uncovering Your Blind Spots and find the one under this goal.
Each blind spot is a real strength turned up too high, and it names the exact snag. Maybe thoroughness makes them wait until they feel ready. "Plain avoidance" is too vague to act on; the blind spot tells you its shape and which way to shrink.
Rebuild the ask so it sidesteps that snag.
- Shrink it below the size where the blind spot fires. Not "reach out to your network," but "send one message to one person," too small to need to feel ready or perfect.
- Cue it to something they already do, so it rides an existing moment. "After Friday coffee, before email, I send it." A cue beats a resolution.
- Make it observable in one line. They tell you done or not, no story needed.
Keep a human behind it, and let that human be you, not an app reminder. A nudge from someone who knows the client moves behavior; an alert doesn't.
Then hand the goal back. The client stays accountable to their own goal, not to keeping you happy, and stops leaning on you to carry it next week.
You leave with one line the client will actually do: small, cued, observable. Next to it, name the blind spot that kept the last version slipping.
Coaching questions
This isn't a worksheet to run in order. Once you know which of the two you're in, pull whatever fits the room.
Finding out what actually stopped it
- What got in the way of this one, honestly?
- If part of you didn't want to do it, what might that part have been protecting?
- What would have had to be true for this to happen?
- When in the week did you last think about it, and what happened next?
Right-sizing the next step
- What is the smallest version of this you couldn't talk yourself out of?
- What already-fixed moment in your week could this ride on?
- How will you and I both know, in one line, whether it happened?
Handing it back
- Whose goal is this, really?
- What would make this something you do for yourself, not for our next session?
