You have to name a real blind spot without the person shutting down
This is for you if you have a real blind spot to raise with someone good, the kind that keeps costing them. Maybe you've put it off once already, bracing for the moment they hear it as an attack and go quiet or dig in.
When feedback lands as a verdict on who someone is, they defend. They're not being difficult. You've handed them a story where they're the problem, and arguing back is the only move you left them.
Open their Uncovering Your Blind Spots section, or read it yourself first. Every blind spot in there is written as the shadow of a real strength.
The same wiring that makes someone decisive is what makes them run past the person who needed a minute. So the report already hands you the thing that keeps hard feedback from stinging: the strength the blind spot grew out of.
Here's the move.
- Find the one blind spot that's live here. Not the whole list. Just the one behind the thing you need to raise, and the strength it's paired with in the report.
- Lead with the strength. Then name the cost as that same strength turned up too high. Out loud, the thing that makes you great at X is what's costing you here. You keep the strength whole and just point at where it overshoots.
- Don't tell them, draw it out. Ask what their sharp edge might cost the people around them, and let them say it first. When they name it themselves, it's their read, not your charge. The questions below are built for this moment.
- Agree one guard, and let them propose it. One small, specific move for next time. Something in their words, like running the redesign past a teammate for ten minutes before it ships. That line is what they walk out holding.
Done this way, the person doesn't leave feeling smaller. They leave with a sharper read on their own edge and one thing to try. You gave them the hard thing, and they kept their footing.
Coaching questions
Remember, this isn't a worksheet to run in order. Once the person names their own edge, pull whatever fits and follow it. Here are questions that help.
Opening from the strength
- What do you count on this person for, at their best?
- Which strength in their results is the one this situation grew out of?
- How would you say the strength out loud, so they hear it as real?
Drawing out their own read
- Where do you think that strength, turned all the way up, might cost the people around you?
- Who tends to be on the receiving end when it shows up?
- What have you noticed about it yourself, before today?
Landing on one guard
- What's one small thing you could try the next time this comes up?
- Where would that be easiest to actually do?
- How will we both know it's working?
